The Daily Gut
Recently, Standing before a crowded church, Barack Obama revealed the cause of violence in our country. He said, “There’s a reason they go out and shoot each other, because they don’t love themselves. And the reason they don’t love themselves is because we are not loving them enough.”

So, okay - the reason people are shooting shopkeepers and cops is BECAUSE WE ARE NOT LOVING THEM ENOUGH.

Truthfully, I would love to follow Obama’s advice. IT’S JUST SO HARD TO HUG SOMEONE WHEN THEY’VE GOT A GUN IN YOUR FACE.

It’s amazing that some people still think low self esteem causes crime. The fact is, research shows that criminals have higher levels of self-esteem than anyone on the planet, including Star Jones.

The only thing worse than a real criminal is a pseudo-intellectual who refuses to understand the nature of evil. It’s the disease of modern society - a fear of judgment stemming from the conviction that moral relativism means no one should ever be convicted.

I guess by extension, that means that all sociopaths can be cured by “love.” Do you think we can get Musharaff to find Osama and give him a hug? Then maybe we can lay off of this whole “war on terror” thing. Maybe we can buy Ahmadinejad a warm puppy and he’ll reconsider obliterating Israel.
If only Hitler had gotten that fire engine for Christmas.

I wonder if Obama’s compassion extends to all by criminals? How about a neo-Nazi? A Klansman? Hey Obama, why not send David Duke a candygram?

Obama might be the first conceptual politician in history - offering a national platform based on statements coming off a coffee mug. One probably filled with chai tea.

That’s my gut feeling.

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Be sure to watch Red Eye on Fox News at 2am EST.

The Daily Gut
Whenever a terror attempt fails - the immediate debate divides into two opposing beliefs: one that makes sense, and one that’s just plain nuts.

The sensible one is that terrorism is our biggest threat, and we must eliminate it completely.

The nutty one is that the terror threat has been exaggerated. And we’re dealing with incompetents. Worse, our overblown reaction has done more harm than good.

But does it matter who is right? As a government, you must protect your citizens, regardless.

Look at it this way:

-If the terror is real, then you continue destroying all terror cells. And, if possible, take out Sean Penn’s camper as collateral damage. If the threat turns out to be exaggerated, you lose nothing, except some time spent at airport security, and maybe your shampoo.

-If the second idiotic belief is right, and there is no terror threat, then you relax security measures and reduce assaults on terror cells. But, here’s the deal: if your instincts are wrong, you end up with many thousands of US citizens dead. That’s not a good thing, even if you’re Rosie O’Donnell.

So the only solution to the terror problem - regardless of how large or small you believe the threat to be - is to relentlessly capture and kill terrorists and remove every speck of al qaeda from this planet.

That, and deporting Danny Glover to Venezuela.

AND THAT’S MY GUT FEELING.

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Be sure to watch Red Eye on Fox News at 2am EST.

The Daily Gut

The only thing I love more than conspiracies, are people who promote them. That’s why I love Truthers, attention seeking dopes who claim to seek the ‘truth” behind 9/11. They believe the real explanation - that fundamentalist bastards flew planes into buildings - is way too simple, and believing that makes you blind to the truth. They ask that you leave your mind “open” to other explanations - as if openmindedness means wisdom, when it simply means empty.

People embrace conspiracies out of narcissism. They want you to believe they’re smarter than you, that you’re a victim of false consciousness. Meaning, you’re comotose to the evils of America. It’s funny to hear this from a guy who still lives in his mom’s basement.

Whenever I meet a dope who blames 9/11 on Bush - I always ask: how can you prove YOU didn’t do it? He can’t answer. He’s retarded.

The truth about conspiracies is that they aren’t any. If you can’t prevent office gossip, how can you assume a a government can keep a secret? Human beings are natural blabbermouths. By the way, Harry Potter dies.

The best way to crush a theorist is to tell them that the real conspiracy is the plan to make people LIKE THEM fall for conspiracies. So when someone says that 9/11 was an inside job, I reply, “well, that’s what the Jews want you to think,” and walk away. But, truthers are as scummy as Holocaust deniers. People who embrace conspiracies are inherently destructive, because it prevents them from focusing on stuff that really matters: like terrorism or my birthday party (which is coming up by the way)

These idiots think they’re putting their own lives at risk by touting their tripe. So maybe they deserve death, even if it proves they were right.

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Be sure to watch Red Eye on Fox News at 2am EST.

The Daily Gut Fox News reported Wednesday on a Navy physician charged with secretly videotaping midshipmen having sex while staying at his house. The doctor’s attorney claimed in a phone interview that his client was set up by a former midshipmen who had been expelled and was trying to extort money.Greg Gutfeld, a guest on the program and host of Fox’s Red Eye, mockingly opined that “if somebody invites you over to their house to have sex, chances are they are going to film you. At least, that has been my experience.”

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I love Greg Gutfeld!!! I watch his Red Eye show every night on my DVR.