Naked man does hula, steals beer at store - Yahoo! News
Thu Aug 30, 6:24 AM ET

DE SOTO, Mo. - The naked truth: Three eastern Missouri men were willing to go to extreme lengths to get some beer.

That’s the accusation after an incident in the early hours of August 18th at Fish’s Quick Stop in De Soto. Store clerk Vicky Gaines says a masked man walked in and began doing the hula dance.

Police say the plan was for the naked dancer to create a distraction while another man took a case of beer from the store. It didn’t work.

Gaines called police. As the naked man and his accomplice joined a third man in a car, a customer got their license plate number. All three were caught a few days later.

The men, ages 19 to 23, face charges of shoplifting and indecent exposure.

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A for effort, D for results.

Mich. man jogged nude to ‘feel alive’ - Yahoo! News
DETROIT - A man who was sentenced to 30 days in jail for taking his daily run while wearing only a stocking cap, gloves and reflective tape said that the nude jogging made him “feel alive,” according to police.

Russell Rotta, 49, told police that he had been running naked since he was a teenager and that he generally woke up each day around 4 a.m. to conceal the activity from his wife.

Rotta reported running in the nude six miles a day every day, weather permitting.

“That is the one wild, crazy thing that I do that makes me feel alive,” police quoted him as saying.

Rotta pleaded guilty to a charge of indecent exposure May 22 in Jackson County district court. Judge Joseph Filip sentenced him Tuesday to 24 months probation and $1,500 in fines and court costs.

Rotta was arrested early April 4 after a caller reported seeing a naked man running in the southbound lane of U.S. Highway 127 in Blackman Township, about 70 miles west of Detroit.

In the police report, the responding officer wrote that he recalled several reports over the years of a naked man running in the area. The officer said he spotted Rotta by his shoe reflectors as he attempted to cross a road.

Rotta told police he didn’t indulge his habit to disturb anyone or receive sexual gratification. He said he generally confined his running to open fields and wooded areas away from roads.

He wore reflective tape around his arms, ankles, waist and thighs to avoid being hit when he crossed roads, the police report said.

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I wonder if he put the reflective tape around his johnson that this would had been ok?